Fancy exploring a new fetish in the bedroom but not sure where to start?
Melisande Sin, 25, can teach you everything there is to know about BDSM – but be prepared to pay for it (in both pain and money).
The dominatrix from Gdansk, Poland, makes £15,000 per month torturing men in inventive ways – from leaving them in a cell for days to tying them up and whipping them.
While she has always been into the BDSM scene, which covers a wide range of kinks within bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism, Melisande had never thought about making a career of it.
The clinical psychology graduate is a self-taught dominatrix and runs her own fetish venue, dubbed Sin Sinsters Dungeon, where she hosts regular sessions with clients and produces ‘Femdom’ (where the woman is the mistress with authority over her submissive) videos.
She even has her own collection of BDSM furniture.
‘I was interested in the BDSM lifestyle before it became my profession,’ she said.
‘I was always the one “wearing the trousers” in all of my relationships. I am a natural leader and I like to have things my own way and boss people around.
‘I was a good student but also a bit of a misfit and rebel. I never really planned on becoming a clinical psychologist. I went to university for lack of a better plan.
‘At one stage, I realised that university would soon end and I would need to actually do something.
‘That’s when it hit me that I couldn’t see myself working in a lab or hospital. I started working in business and finance.
‘At this time, Poland only had one dungeon, in Warsaw, and even this one wasn’t available to rent.
‘I decided to set-up my own business and began the first dungeon in the north, Sin Sisters Dungeon.
“From there, being a dominatrix became my career. It escalated quickly. Now I travel the word for events and sessions. I run the dungeon and am in the process of setting up a second one.
‘I create fetish photography and clips, have designed a BDSM furniture line, and I am about to launch the first mistress directory in Poland. On the side, I invest in real estate.’
To give an insight into her world of kink, Melisande has shared what goes on behind closed doors – and explained that it’s much more than ‘holding a whip and looking attractive’.
From medical play, in which she has specialist skills, to whipping, rope bandage and keeping her submissive in a cell (one was in there for six days), people are willing to pay big bucks for her services.
A regular session can cost between £250 to £500 per hour, but the 26-year-old also takes special requests; one man forked out £1,000 for her to drive over his phone and laptop, while he watched.
Another man, one of her personal ‘slaves’, has asked her to choose tattoos for him to get inked across his body – which Melisande will do herself.
She said: ‘I do love tattoos so my personal slaves get the opportunity to be branded by me.
‘One of my closest personal slaves is currently being tattooed with a full body suit of tattoos of my choice. We have just started – he is already branded with my name.
‘Most requests include using someone as an ashtray, ball-busting, or spanking.
‘These might seem bizarre or extreme to the common public but this is perfectly normal.
‘If practised safely, these pose no threat to the individual’s health and are part of a healthy curiosity into the realm of sexuality.’
However, Melisande doesn’t have sex with any of her customers and she will never undress for them, though there is plenty of PVC and latex outfits.
The dominatrix will also turn down a request if she feels it is unsafe to perform.
She added: ‘Although the work of a professional dominatrix is deeply rooted in sexuality, it has nothing to do with sex.
‘We do not have sex or any intimate contact. I maintain a strict CFNM – clothed female, naked male – convention.’
Most customers are men aged between 25 to 35 years old, but the dominatrix has also had females, couples and some older men visit her dungeon.
Melisande said: ‘When I started, I was self-taught for the most part.
‘Later on, I sought workshops in particular fields such as CBT (c***-and-ball torture), medical play, and whipping. I also take shibari classes (rope bondage).
‘I can’t really say this job has helped me develop a strong mind-set – that brought me to the job.
‘I must say, it has helped me accept myself fully. I don’t feel guilty for being stronger than most men.
‘There is much more to it than holding a whip and looking attractive.’
Thanks to the flexibility of her job, Melisande also spends a lot of time travelling the globe.
She said: ‘My schedule varies. My day mostly consists of reading, working from my laptop and managing the people I employ.
‘When I’m on tour, I do a few hours’ worth of sessions a day but a typical day might just have one appointment.
‘I also travel a lot privately so one third of my life is being on holiday.’
But it can be a gruelling business, with some of her appointments lasting for days.
She said: ‘Some sessions last an hour, others a full day, and one even lasted for 122 hours.
‘During this time, the submissive slept on the premises in a prison cell.
‘I’d say on average I earn £15,000 a month from my dominatrix work without my other streams of income.
‘I have a strangely young demographic – from 25 to 35 years old – probably due to my edgy looks. I do get younger and older clients though. I have a very regular slave who is 60 years old. I also get women and couples.
‘A lot of them are single, some of them are married and some probably don’t tell me the truth.’
Melisande herself is married, but said that her line of work doesn’t affect their relationship, as both she and her partner ‘share an adventurous side’.
The dominatrix even wore a latex dress on their wedding day.
She said: ‘My work hasn’t changed my own love life.
‘In terms of my sex-life, I was always rather open and adventurous and so is my partner.
‘I did choose to wear a latex wedding dress. I loved the look of them before becoming a dominatrix but my line of work meant it was more than justified to wear one.’
‘BDSM is a great way for adults to find themselves through consensual play. I like to inspire people to reach out to what they want,’ she added.
‘My sessions serve as a safe haven for people to speak openly about their desires, hopes, and fears.’